August 11, 2014

Episode 60: The sexiest hell on Earth

c/o Flickr/Tokyo Times
Click MeWelcome to Episode 60 of my show!

A listener has written in asking why "all" of the celebrities are currently on Ibiza, that sexy Mediterranean island that features eight Scandinavian models for every fake Rockefeller in a sweaty silk shirt. In this latest episode, I reject the premise of this question. "All" of the celebrities are not currently in Ibiza. All of the single, horny celebrities with an Instagram account are in Ibiza. And they're attracting others of their kind. It's kind of like Dawn of the Planet of the Apes; they're building they're own little nation out there, and the rest of us are just endangered humans whose only advantage is higher cognitive brain function.

Also!

Wondering why Hollywood is foisting two Hercules movies on us at the same time? Why not one Hercules movie, one Ajax the Lesser movie? Why not throw Orpheus a bone, for chrissakes? Turns out, Hollywood has a long history of releasing two movies with the same theme at the same time. And there are reasons for that. I reveal 'em.

Plus!

I get to the bottom of what I call the Endless Tentpole Mystery. You tell me whether it's a conspiracy. (It's a total conspiracy.)

And finally!

I explain, once and for all, why you should never, ever feel sorry for a celebrity who gets photographed by paparazzi after getting her hair did.


Got a question about how celebrities really live? Ask in the feedback module to the right.

4 comments :

  1. Why can't Ebola Ibiza be a thing?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yog Sothoth Jr. IIIAugust 24, 2014 at 5:33 PM

    Speaking of the sizzurp-suckling plague vector, whatever happened to the exiled monkey?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I shall answer your question on the next podcast, Yog.

    ReplyDelete