October 17, 2013

Everything you ever needed to know about the Game of Thrones porn parody

It’s got James Deen as Jon Snow! It’s got a giant chair made of dildos! It’s set to debut online in just over one week, people! 

I speak of Game of Bones: Winter is Cumming, the porn version of the hit HBO fantasy show. 

Like Game of Thrones, Game of Bones is wildly expensive compared with other projects in its genre. Like Game of Thrones, Game of Bones is intended to be an ongoing series.

Unlike Game of Thrones, Game of Bones features a White Walker in a solo sex scene.

I collared Bones director Lee Roy Myers to ask him everything we really need to know about the project, which is wrapped and almost ready for its Oct. 25 debut on Woodrocket.com. Here you go.

Hi! It’s Leslie! Hi! What’s this I hear about kittens?

Yeah, sorry I couldn’t talk earlier. A while ago we found a stray cat outside of our studio while we were building, so we took her in. And she gave birth about 11 weeks ago, so today was the day we took ours home. My production manager had been raising them, six kittens. James Deen took one today.

So James Deen has a new kitten. [Insert obvious jokes here.] What’s its name?

Yeah! It’s a nervous kitten. But he’ll calm down on the five-hour ride home. I don’t know what the names are yet. I’ll let you know soon; I’ll ask him.

Righteous! So let’s talk Bones. What’s the one relationship or character you were most looking forward to parodying and why?

The white walker, because it is so strange to see a white walker do something sexual, I thought. During filming, the surrealness of it all really comes through at that moment when you tell a white walker to use the vibrator at a certain time.

Why is Joffrey Baratheon being played by a woman? That’s hilarious. Whose idea is that?

Yes, it’s a female playing King Joffrey. The actor playing Joffrey [on the HBO show] has some very feminine facial features. And right from the beginning of that show—I hadn’t read the books—I just assumed there was going to be a Crying Game-style surprise at some point. So maybe that idea just stuck with me. When we were shooting it just made sense.

Is this project as pricy as the HBO show? The HBO show costs like $6 million an episode.

It was very expensive for a porn. It’s not going to be anywhere near what HBO’s budget is, not even near what Cinemax is for porn. I would say it’s just over $100,000. That’s versus $20,000, maybe $30,000 for your average porn movie right now.

What will happen to the dildo throne after shooting wraps?

We’ve actually had a lot of people who, once they saw the trailer, offered to buy it. But we’re going to continue the series. We’re trying to do something different with porn. If these episode are popular we plan to continue shooting.

How popular will the initial show have to be before you decide?

I am going to tell you right now that, just in releasing the teaser and a couple photos, it’s already popular enough. I am pretty confident it will become a series after Oct. 25. 

Is there any one Game of Thrones character that you just didn’t want to touch?

You know, it’s a melodrama; most of the characters you love or hate at one point. The HBO show has a very young cast, and we won’t do anything with children or people playing children. So we’ve been trying to figure out how to make the child characters suddenly of legal age. We’re willing to do pretty much anything as long as it’s within legal bounds.

So many of the sexy people die on the HBO show. Is that going to work for porn?

We follow the HBO storyline; we’re parodying the storyline. I won’t say who lives or dies necessarily, but I will say this: In the first episode we put up, we deal with the Red Wedding. Because of the amount of ejaculate, we call it the White Wedding and we deal with it that way. It’s porn, it’s a parody we have fun with it. But we still stick with paying homage to the original, so we’re not going to stray too far, and have a situation where a character is going to make it all thew way to the end of our series if they don’t make it all the way to the HBO series.

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  1. They already have a porn version of "Game of Thrones" , its called "Game of Thrones".

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